After You Left
by K1620
Summary: William Traynor and Louisa Clark are visited by friend from Will's past that will show them exactly what will happen after his death. They'll see Lou in her depressed state and new faces that just might be able to change his mind. Contains spoilers from Me Before You and After You.
1. Chapter 1

"Can you call my parents in?" Will asked Louisa. She looked at him as if she was about to breakdown. She was red in the face and her lips were trembling as she nodded her head slowly.

Louisa stood up to open the door. She could feel Will's eyes on her back but she knew that she had to be strong. That she would be okay in the end. That she could survive this void he would be leaving in her soul.

When she opened the door, it wasn't just Will's family that was sitting in the small room. An elderly woman with kind eyes held a necklace in her hand as if it was a lifeline.

They all looked at Louisa as she approached them. "He's ready."

The old woman held her free hand in the air. "Not just yet dear."

Camilla Traynor stood to introduce the two women. "Louisa, this is Harriet, Will's grandmother. She says that she would like to discuss a few things with you and Will before . . ." She seemed to be choked up on one specific word.

Louisa Clark smiled at the wrinkled woman. "Of course."

Harriet smiled and motioned to the door. Louisa nodded her head and led the woman to Will.

Will was staring up at the ceiling, breathing heavily as if to control his tears from overflowing. He looked over when he heard the door open.

"Hello Will."

Will blinked. "Grandma, what are you doing here?"

"To show you something." Harriet hobbled over to the side of his bed and beckoned Louisa over when she noticed that the girl was frozen in her spot.

"Grandma, I'm not going to ch-"

"I know my dear boy. Just listen to me." She shushed as Louisa kneeled.

Harriet took a deep breath. "Tell me Will. How do you think everyone's life will turn out when you die?"

Will refused to spare a glance at Louisa. "A think- I know that a huge weight will be lifted off their shoulders."

A white eyebrow raised. "Will it really?"

Will and Louisa were silent as Harriet placed the necklace in Will's hand that rested on his chest. She then picked up Louisa's and placed it on top of his and then finally laid hers. "Let me show you." She said before a bright light flashed and they were gone

They were on a roof. That was all Louisa could muster out of their location. It was a city. Maybe London? She looked at Will and saw that he was no longer in his bed and now in his wheelchair.

Will looked around the roof. What just happened? Am I dead already? He looked for his Grandma but found no elderly woman. Just his Clark looking as confused as him.

"Where the-" Will was cut off by a sound. A girl in her pajamas walked onto the roof, a little drunk. She stumbled over to the ledge. She steps closer and closer to the ledge. Will wants to yell at the girl but he just sits and watches.

The woman with the short haircut finally turns around. Louisa and Will gasp when they realize that the girl in plain pajamas is Louisa Clark but an older, more tired version.

The girl turns to the sky. "Eighteen months. Eighteen whole months. So when is it going to be enough? Because this doesn't feel like living."

Will looks at this sad girl and sighs. He was guessing that she was talking to him.

"You didn't give me a bloody life, did you? Not really. You just smashed up my old one. Smashed it in to little pieces. What am I meant to do with what's left? When is it going to feel-"

Louisa couldn't believe it as she watched her future depressed state curse the man she loves. That girl had so much anger. Her clothes didn't even have any fun print on them. And why the heck did she get a haircut? She looked so broken and all Louisa wanted to do was reach out and pull the girl off the ledge to give her a big hug and tell her it was going to be okay.

Will wanted to cry. The broken man wanted to cry. This is what his Clark would think of him after death? He knew that she wouldn't be happy but he never thought she'd be angry with him. She was supposed to understand! But he took one more look at the girl who didn't have Mickey Mouse on her sweatshirt and felt a twinge in his heart. She looked older with the tired lines that had taken away the glint in her eyes. She looked as if her familiar smile had died with Will and was replaced by a permanent frown.

Will and Louisa's internal rambling ceased when they heard a girl's voice say, "I don't think you should stand there."

And then, to their horror, older Louisa fell off the building.

And the scene changed.


	2. Chapter 2

Louisa Clark didn't watch her future self. No, she watched Will watch her. Lou watched Will watch Louisa being lifted onto a stretcher. She watched Will when her future self asked if she was paralyzed and saw him take a shaky breath when he saw that she didn't. She watched him watch her recovery and meeting with Patrick and his fiancée. She watched him watch her parents tell her to join a support group as the future Lou protested that she didn't throw herself off the building.

Louisa Clark watched William Traynor the whole time instead of watching her spiral downwards into a pit of loneliness. She wanted to see his emotions cross his face every time future Lou showed her weaknesses. She wanted Will to realize that not everything would be happening as he planned. That she got kicked out of her parents house and was now working at some Irish bar whose owner made her wear itchy wigs and skirts. She wanted him to see the three hundred pound weight on her shoulder that she had only gained when he died.

Will had decided to end his life, and for what? What the heck did it accomplish in Louisa's future life? She always looked sad and tired. Her clothes were dreary. Life without Will seemed pointless and grey. Will refused to look at her the whole time. He just watched the future, not thinking about the past and present.

Will felt . . . guilty. If this is what Lou's future was after only knowing him for six months, then he could only imagine the pain his parents felt after his death. All he wanted was for the girl standing right next to him to go out and not be trapped in her little town. To show her that the world wasn't just all about cafes and sparkly shoes. To tell her that Mauritius wasn't the only exotic vacation spot on earth.

But all he could see now was a broken girl who wasn't his caterpillar eyebrow girl. He hated this future. He wanted out. He wanted to go back to his bed in Switzerland and be alone for a couple of hours. He hated wherever he was. He could feel present Lou's eyes burning into the side of his head but he refused to turn around. Had his death really driven her this far down? Did he really cause that beautiful smile to disappear?

Assisted suicide wouldn't be the actual death of him. Louisa Clark would. Her infectious nature would. Her bright jumpers would. Her wide blue eyes made him want to stay forever, but her boring life made him want to set her free.

How could she be happy if she was living with a depressed, grumpy quadriplegic man who couldn't even feed himself? In the next few months, she would feel the exact same way she did in this future. No one was supposed to feel happy around him. It was if he had already died but the body still remained intact.

But his Clark was the one to resurrect him. How could Clark love a man like him? Maybe because she hasn't seen what an actual good man was. Everyone knew that Patrick was a real bore. He wondered how Lou had so badly picked the two worst men to love. Will couldn't take care of her the way she would want. Maybe she would protest that she didn't need all of the special things but Will knew better than that. Every woman needs that from her loved one. Will wanted to offer that because she deserved it tremendously. He wanted to hold her and feel her skin. He wanted to take her places and take her on a hiking trail that he had once found in his early twenties when still at uni. But how could that happen when he was hospitalized in bed with pneumonia? How could he giver the life that she needed? Deserved?

He couldn't.


	3. Chapter 3

The scene has changed. Younger Louisa Clark and Alive William Traynor are placed in what seems to be a crappy looking flat with packed boxes. Younger Lou wasn't anywhere in sight so Will's caretaker decides to turn to him.

They hadn't addressed the situation they had been in for the last few minutes. Will was shocked by his grandmother's actions and felt as if he was being drugged. Maybe this is what dying was. Maybe they were drugging him before they killed him because this certainly wasn't what heaven was. Heaven wasn't seeing the girl he loved almost die by falling off a building. Heaven wasn't watching his Bumblebee Girl looking as if she was now a dull moth. Heaven was supposed to be him and Lou back on the beach. Accept this time he would have full access to his body. He would tell her he loved her and hold her in his arms as he carried her into the ocean while she squealed and laughed. It would be him and her in Paris at the top of the Eiffel Tower as she raised her caterpillar eyebrows in amazement with her rosy lips parted in a gasp as she stared in wonder. And while she was distracted, Will would plop down on one knee until she turned around. It sounded like heaven; spoiling her and making her happy. It sounded perfect.

Heaven was a bit different for Louisa Clark. Heaven to her was walking into the annex with a smile on her face as her glittery pumps clanked against the ground. Heaven was feeding will as he argued with her about how she didn't get out enough or watching subtitle movies with him as he peeked at her as if she didn't notice, trying to see if this movie was impacting her enough. Heaven to Louisa Clark was every day spent with Will. Will was heaven himself. She never thought about a different life where he could go scuba diving by her side. She thought about the moment and lived in it. She thought about Will. Just Will. Only Will. Her Will.

"So uh…" Lou chuckled nervously. She shuffled her pumps.

"You fell off of a building." Will commented without actually looking at her.

"Well, I was drunk and startled, and—"

"No Clark, you were angry. I could tell. Trying to hide your feelings and shoving them down never works out in the end. Your future self is quite foolish if I do say so myself." He interrupted her.

She furrowed her eyebrows and grounded her teeth. "You have no right to talk about hiding feelings, Will Traynor. No right. I was foolish and angry because you decided to be a selfish prat kill yourself without even thinking of the consequences. You just think that—"

"That everyone will be happier? Right? Clark, you have no idea. No idea, what it is like."

She threw her arms in the air. She was seething now. "There he goes! Always trying to differentiate everyone else's problems to his own. There. He. Goes. Always trying to pretend that he's the only one in this world who is quadriplegia," Lou got closer to him and pointed an accusing finger to his face. "Stop it. Stop it right now. Stop thinking everyone will be happier. That no one will have a burden. Because your wrong if you think that. The only burden that will be put upon everyone will be the burden of not trying hard enough to get you to stay."

Lou breathed heavily and closed her eyes. She missed Will's started face at her outburst. She had a point, but it wasn't good enough. Will was about to say something but a doorbell interrupted him. Shuffling could be heard from a bedroom as younger Will and Lou moved to look at the front door. Older Louisa walked out of her room and straight to the door.

"Who is it?" She asked.

"I need to talk to you." Came the reply.

"I think you have the wrong flat," Lou said as she peered through the peephole.

"Are you Louisa Clark?" The girl's voice asked.

The conversation went on until older Lou decided to finally let open the door to peer out.

"Who did you say you were?"

"Lily. Lily Houghton-Miller. Look, I need to talk to you about my father." The girl sounded young but mature. Will looked at younger Lou for recognition of the voice but she just shrugged in response.

"I think you have the wrong person. I don't know anyone called Houghton-Miller. There must be another Louisa Clark who you've confused me with." Louisa went to close the door but the girl blocked it.

"Not his name. His name is Will Traynor."

And in that moment, William Traynor; whiz-kid, adrenaline junkie, and rich businessman, finally broke.

 **I'm sorry it was a bit short but in all honesty, tell me what you thought. Love it or hate it? I loved this book an movie. Emilia Clarke represents Lou so well and Sam Claflin is just as handsome as he his Will Traynor. The reason I am writing this fanfiction after two years is that they affected me greatly. Now, if you knew me, you would see that I am not an emotional person. Crying doesn't affect me unless we're watching a movie with a dog but when I watched the movie, I was staring at my ceiling trying to decipher what had just happened and why Will had to die. Why he couldn't have stayed with the girl who had seen past everything and made him feel like a man again. I ordered the book the next day and read it. I cried at the end and cry every time I think of Me Before You. Why did it affect me? Maybe it's because I can relate to Lou's quirks or maybe it's because this was a story where despite having their differences, they were perfect for each other. But then Will died, he decided to leave this girl that loved him.**

 **So, after thinking and thinking, I feel as if I understand why Jojo Moyes decided to end his life and maybe I'll explain it next time. This doesn't mean that I'll ever come to terms with his death, but it does mean that I won't cry every time I see his name. Although, I might still cry when hearing or reading his letter to Lou.**

 **Thank you for all of the support, you have been grand. I only joined this week and already have almost 200 hundred reads. That is amazing and you are all so awesome. I love you guys already. Don't be a stranger. Tell me what you thought and if I messed up. It only makes me boost my confidence. Thank you for the reads, comments, and follows!**

 **If you would like to see some other stories, I have Wand & Arrow on my profile. You can check out my other story, Ratchet, on Wattpad. My username is KatieKlou.**

 **Have a great day everyone!**

 _-Katie_

All characters belong to Jojo Moyes.


	4. Chapter 4

"You… you have uh—a daughter?" Louisa Clark was dumbstruck. A daughter? Will would have mentioned if he had a daughter. Assisted suicide wouldn't even be on the list if he had a daughter. But Louisa looked at this young girl that was standing in the middle of her future self's living room. She even looked like him, same colored eyes and aura that seemed to suffocate her with different memories of Will.

This was a mirage of some sorts. Will definitely knew that he was dreaming now. Not a good dream, maybe it was a nightmare? Will never recalled having a daughter and if by some chance he did impregnate a woman, they would most definitely tell him. A daughter—a child! It was enough to make his head spin, not literally of course. He felt nauseous as if he knew that this girl wasn't lying to his future Clark. His heart hurt as he wondered exactly how a woman could have gotten away with his own blood.

So he stared. He stared at the girl who looked around at Louisa's flat as he silently breathed out a sigh of relief that she was fully capable of using her legs and arms. He stared as she asked older Louisa questions about her job and apartment. He heard Clark say something to him but couldn't register the exact syllables that had slipped out of her parted lips that also stared in wonder at the teenager.

"Will, Will! Look at me!" Will looked at his present Lou. She was stealing side glances at his spawn as she opened and closed her mouth like a fish. "How could you—You have a daughter, Will! And you decide to kill yourself and not tell me? What the h—"

"You thought I knew about this, Clark? You thought I knew? Of course, I didn't know, Louisa! Of course, I would have said something! I'm not that cunning!" He huffed out in what seemed to be his only breath that had been taken since looking at his daughter. The shock was racing through his veins, trying to keep up with his heart's fast beating and his head's rapid speed of spinning. Everything hurt emotionally.

It hit him. It literally hit him. He never got to meet his daughter! If he had known—His own living, breathing kid was standing right in front of him, but he couldn't do anything about it. He wanted to yell at her, scream that he wasn't dead. But he was.

William Traynor; whiz-kid, adrenaline junkie, businessman, and now father, was dead.

Heartbroken.

Non-existant.

He wanted to move his arms and envelope her in a hug, but he couldn't even move his hand.

Older Louisa looked at Lily, Will's daughter. "I'm going to get a drink. Would you like something?" _Always the hostess, Clark._

"I'll have a Coke. Unless you've got wine." Will wanted to laugh at this girl's antics. Like father like daughter.

Of course, Louisa had to ask for the girl's age, a real stepmother she would have been. Will blinked back the comment. _Slow down, buddy._

Older Louisa moved to the kitchen. "I don't understand. Will didn't have children. I would have known." She paused for a moment. "Is this some kind of joke?"

 _Finally, at least she wasn't the only one thinking it,_ young Lou thought. Was this a joke? Will said that he would have told her if he had known, but she somehow seriously doubted it. Will hid is suicide from me. He hid a lot of things from his parents.

Besides, Louisa had no doubt that Will hadn't romanticized a lot of women back then. This girl could have happened to stumble on a photo of her mother and Will at some fabulous party. Maybe Will was telling the truth and this girl wasn't, she was just glad that her older self-had some sense to even ask.

Lily questioned her question. Older Lou responded with, "Will and I talked… a lot. He would have told me." _Exactly._

Will looked to his daughter. She seemed to be around sixteen. "Yeah. Well, turns out he didn't. And I need to talk about him to someone who is not going to freak out like the rest of my family does every time his name is mentioned." Will pondered this for a second. Houghton-Miller. Seemed familiar but not familiar enough to remember spending the night with one.

"I'm hardly going to say it as a joke. I mean, yeah. My real dad: some sad bloke in a wheelchair. Like that's funny." Young Louisa looked over to her sad Will. He hung his head as best as he could.

She was angry too. Will felt guilt well up inside of him. So much, he might as well have drowned. His daughter was angry at him, it was easy to see. So very clear.

Older Louisa asked her about her family but his daughter just asked for a cigarette.

 _Does she smoke because of me?_ _Did I do this to my daughter?_

"My mother is called Tanya. Tanya Miller. She's married to my stepdad, who is called Francis Stupid F-face Miller." Will raised his head at this. Tanya? He shook his head.

"Nice name," Louisa replied.

Older Louisa stared at Lily for awhile before saying, "Lily, before we go on there's something I need to—"

She interrupted her. " I know he's dead. I mean, that was how I found out. There was some documentary on television about assisted suicide and they mentioned his name and Mum totally freaked out for no reason and ran to the bathroom and F-face went after her so obviously I listened outside. And she was in total shock because she hadn't even known that he ended up in a wheelchair—" The girl kept rambling, but Will and Louisa didn't hear the rest. It was real.

Will had a daughter.

And he never knew.

They snapped out of their trance when hearing Louisa ask Lily a question. "So what did you do?"

"I Googled him, of course. And I found you."

Will's daughter.

Will.

Daughter.

What?

 **GREETINGS! You all are just too lovely. Thank you for the comments, reads, follows, and love! You guys are soooo AWESOME!**

 **I bet you could guess that I hate swearing! Lol!**

 **Now, don't be shy. Please tell me what you thought! It was bit longer than my other chapters but I feel like this one was my favorite. I always wondered what Will would have done if he found out that he had a daughter. It was so unfair that she didn't get to meet him and can't even imagine what she felt.**

 **Who is your favorite Lou? 1** **st** **book, 2** **nd** **book, or 3** **rd** **book Lou? I love them all! She's just so quirky and chatty and can make me laugh at any time of the day.**

 **Does anyone cry when thinking of Will? I do! I choke up a bit and my family looks at me weirdly.**

 **How many times have you seen the movie? Did you like Will's POV, or Lou's better?**

 **Please tell me what you're thinking right now! Your comments mean so much to me and they make me smile so big! You can ask me questions if you'd like too! I'll make sure to answer them in my next chapter.**

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 **Have a great day!**

 ** _-Katie_**

 ** _All characters belong to Jojo Moyes._**


	5. Chapter 5

Will Traynor tried to grasp onto slivers of the scene that was fading from his eyes. He wanted to know more about his daughter and to find out who the mother was. He couldn't recall any Tanya in his young adult age. Maybe a Terri? Or a Sonya? His mind was all fuzzy, a horrible haze that reminded him of when he was lying in his hospital bed after being told he was paralyzed. He went into shock and then into a sort of placid state that made him grumpy and eerily unfriendly.

How could he have not known? He dated a lot of women in his life and he was self-assured that they would have told him. Or at least faked a pregnancy just so he would marry them or give them money, not hide the child and never tell him.

How many years did he miss? She was obviously older than twelve so he assumed her to be at least fifteen or sixteen. Sixteen years ago... Tanya...

Nothing.

He couldn't remember a damn thing and it hurt. To forget this woman who carried his child. He felt foolish, like a damn idiot. How could he have fallen so down the drain?

His internal rambling had been so foggy that he had barely spared a thought of Clark. He yelled at her and now he had to look at her in this grieving state of mind. And her flat! Didn't he have any decency to leave her any cash before he died? It wasn't horrible but it also wasn't Louisa Clarks. There was no silly posters or little trinkets lying about. It was all very plain and very void of life. It mad his heartache for her.

How had she fallen so far? Literally and figuratively. His Clark fidgeted next to him the entire time in that unwelcoming flat she called home, staring at his daughter as if she was an alien and probably very angry at him. Angry because she thought he was lying to her. If only she could believe and hear what exactly was whirling around in his mind.

He felt incredibly guilty now that he thought of the recent moments. He would have reacted the same way. Heck, he wanted to scream when she told him that she had known all along about his plan to die. She had been nothing but kind and... Lou. She was being his Clark. It seemed as if the name was it's own personality entirely.

They were now placed in a room full of a circle of people. They were sitting in plastic chairs with a biscuit tin in everyone's arms reach. Will had to hold in a laugh when his eyes landed on a disgruntled Louisa that was wearing an Irish skirt that somehow made her look silly but still very flattering. He could only imagine what pair of tights and pumps she would pair with her outfit and...was that a wig? He accidentally let out a snort as young Louisa glared at him.

It was then that Will realized what this really was. Older men and women talked about personal guilt and pain. Older Lou looked so uncomfortable and this time it wasn't about her itchy wig and skirt. It was the support group her parents were trying to talk her into after she had fallen off the roof of her flat.

"What about you Louisa? Do you suffer feelings of guilt?" A man asked Lou. Will resisted the urge to take a glance at the woman beside him. Did she fell guilty? She had no reason to.

His heart hurt with his own guilt for having driven her so far into depression that she had to attend a support group just to help with the pain.

He missed her next sentence but shook at of his ranting when a woman asked her, "What do you find difficult about this subject, Louisa?"

Louisa nervously sipped her cup and Will took a peek out the corner of his eye to look at Clark. She fidgeted and shifted in her spot. What could she feel guilty about? She was pure and innocent.

"That I couldn't stop him. Sometimes I think if I had been smarter, or handled things differently or just been more—I don't know. More anything." Louisa confessed as if she had revealed her biggest secret.

Will couldn't think. Damn. Don't do this Clark.

"You feel guilty Bill's death because you feel you could have stopped him?"

This time Will actually did look at the present Lou and turned in his chair to face her. He cocked an eyebrow, trying to forget his guilt. He caused his bumblebee girl to feel guilty when she didn't need to. In truth, he really did appreciate all of her efforts. Everything she did to make him happy only made him happy because she was there beside him. She made him happy, not millions of different trips. Although, he did love going to the concert and getting to sit in a pool even if had to be in a contraption and he couldn't actually swim.

It was worth every cent and muscle spasm to see her smile as her beautiful eyes crinkled as her eyebrows rose up to her hairline. The thought made him want to smile but it immediately died out when catching an ever-present Lou stand in front of him looking like a child as she twiddled her fingers. She was frowning and her confident shoulders were slumping as her eyebrows knitted together. He wanted to make her smile. She felt uncomfortable and so did he.

Nothing wrong with a little teasing.

"Bill? Ashamed of me Clark?" He pursed his lips in mock-annoyance.

She looked at him and took a deep breath. "I don't think I can do witty today Will Traynor."

She took his words and turned back to the scene. It stung and he felt himself frown at this. It was exactly what he said to her when he had been admitted to the hospital after Alicia's and Rupert's wedding. And he could now understand how she felt in some moments. He realized that in return, he had to give back what was given to him.

So maneuvered his chair closer to her and raised his finger as much as he could. It gave a feather-light touch to her nail but she felt it and immediately grasped her cold hand into his warm one.

Now it was his turn to be there for her.

Oh, Clark. What have you done?

* * *

 **Hello, Lovelies!**

 **Thank you for reading and reviewing. Also, a big thank you for the follows and favorites. You guys are awesome!**

 **It took me awhile to update but I finally told myself to get on my computer and create a chapter. It was short but kind of sweet and hope you guys like it!**

 **Reviews?**

 **I would really appreciate if you told me what you thought. It would mean a lot.**

 **Who's POV do you like better? Will or Lou's? This won't change anything I was just curious.**

 **Has anyone else listened to _Not Today_ by Imagine Dragons lately? I can't get through the whole thing without crying!  
**

 **Goal before next chapter: 10 reviews.**

 **Check out my other story Ratchet on Wattpad!**

 **Username: KatieKlou**

 **All characters belong to JoJo Moyes.**

 **-Katie**


	6. AUTHOR NOTE

**I'm sorry.**

I should probably explain why I've been inactive and it is KILLING me that I have stooped so low to not post in months. Someone stole my book. It isn't the greatest excuse but it is all I really have. And so new content has been hard for me to publish because I don't have the book. But...I am working on getting another copy so I can get back to this story as soon as I can. I apologize again for the inconvenience and for me going all incognito on you all.

- **K**


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